Early in the morning of a lovely summer day,
As they lowered the bright awning at the outdoor café,
I was breakfasting on croissants and café au lait,
Under greenery like scenery, Rue François Premier.
Jardin des Tuileries, Paris (by christine.m.kim)
CHALLENGE YOUR NEGATIVE THOUGHTS:
“I’m a failure.”
Struggling doesn’t make me a failure—it makes me human. No one is perfect, and I am no exception to that. Making mistakes is an inevitable part of life. I may not have control over the obstacles thrown at me, but I do have control over how I react and respond to them. I can choose to give up when things get difficult, or I can choose to continue fighting. I can choose to see my struggles as a curse, or I can can choose to see them as an opportunity for learning and growth. As long as I continue to pick myself back up, no matter how dark things get, I can overcome anything. I am not a failure. I’m doing the best I can and that’s enough.
The size of my body does NOT define who I am as a person. I am not a number on the scale or a clothing size. I am living, breathing, feeling human being. I am a force of love and friendship. I am a beautiful blend of my goals and morals and hopes and dreams and passions and character. My weight is such a small part of who I am and it doesn’t have the power to discount my worth.
If anyone judges me for the size of my body, they don’t deserve to have a place in my life anyway. The people who matter will love and accept me regardless of the way I look. Because they don’t see me as my body—they see me as the person I am. They don’t base my worth as a friend and human being on my size. They want to be in my life because of who I am and how I make them feel. They value me for what I contribute to the world and our friendship. To them, my weight doesn’t matter. It doesn’t have to matter to me either.
I am not worthless.As a human being who walks this earth, I have inherent worth. I exist and therefore I matter. I have a voice. I have opinions and things worth saying. I have a unique perspective on life granted to me by my unique human experience. I have a story to tell; a story that can be shared by me and only me. I have an individual set of strengths and talents and the potential to positively make an impact on others. I have important things to contribute to this world and the ability to make a difference.
I deserve to take up space. I deserve to have my voice heard and my feelings acknowledged and validated. I am significant, and without my existence, the world wouldn’t be the same. I have just as much worth as every other person on this planet. I am not an exception. I never have been and I never will be.
“I’m a bad person.”
Bad people are those with malicious intentions. They’re murderers and rapists and terrorists. They’re people who abuse animals and children and their spouses. They’re people who operate with the intention of causing pain to others. They’re people like Adolf Hitler and Joseph Stalin and James Holmes and Saddam Hussein. I am not like these people.
I may make mistakes, say and do hurtful things out of anger, flake on people when I’m struggling, lie when I’m afraid of confronting someone or being honest, or neglect friends who need me in the moment when I’m having a hard time myself—but that doesn’t make me a bad person. That makes me human. I’m not perfect, and that’s okay. If I do disappoint, upset, or hurt others, it isn’t because I set out to be cruel. My intentions are good-natured. All I can do is acknowledge my mistakes, hold myself accountable, learn from them, and make an effort to make better choices in the future. I’m doing the best I can with where I’m at and what I have, and that’s all I can ask of myself.
“I’m not good enough.”
Who I am is all I’m supposed to be—who I am is enough. I don’t need anyone’s approval or validation to feel okay. I am right exactly as I am. I don’t have to change for anybody. The people who really matter will love and accept me without conditions. I choose to hold onto these people, and let go of the rest. I choose to celebrate my flaws and to embrace what makes me different. I choose to be me, wholeheartedly, without regrets, limitations, or apologies.
“No one likes me.”
Just because I haven’t found people who are able to recognize my worth doesn’t mean I never will. And just because certain people have decided I’m not deserving of their time or friendship doesn’t mean I have to internalize their opinions and adopt them as my truth. Life is too short to spend with people who make me feel awful about myself.
So instead of chasing after people who continue to neglect me, I’m choosing to create new friendships that make me feel good. Instead of waiting for people to approach me, I’m choosing to take the initiative and approach others. Instead of fixating on all of the people who have left my life, I’m choosing to hold onto and remember all of the people who have stayed. Instead of allowing other people’s abandonment to determine my worth, I’m choosing to let them go and validate my own worth. Today, I’m choosing to trust that someday soon, I can and will find people I connect with who appreciate the person I am.
“I will never recover/heal.”
Just because I’m struggling now doesn’t mean I will be struggling forever. Healing doesn’t happen over night. It takes time and patience and persistence. At the end of the day, all I can do is my best. It’s all I can ask of myself, and it’s enough. As long as I don’t give up and continue to pick myself back up, no matter how many times I lapse or make mistakes, I can and will heal. If I give up when things get difficult however, I will never reach a place of freedom. So today, I’m choosing to continue to fight. I’m choosing to be patient with myself and my process. I’m choosing to be kind and compassionate with myself during my struggles. Today, I choose to believe in myself and my ability to heal.
Paris from the Parc de Saint-Cloud (by Philippe Lejeanvre)
Louvre (by Frmus : My Proper Photographic’s Feelings)